Episode 1

The Relationship Boat: Agreements and Principles

Published on: 21st April, 2025

In this episode, we explore the importance of principles and agreements in creating a successful relationship, drawing inspiration from Stan Tatkin's PACT method. We discuss the concept of the relationship as a 'boat' where both partners must collaborate for it to function. Everything outside the couple is considered a 'third,' including kids, jobs, and finances. We delve into how general principles, like honesty and financial prudence, can sometimes conflict and how these can be translated into specific agreements to prevent disputes. The discussion also covers the significance of prioritizing the relationship for overall well-being and offers practical examples for aligning on shared goals, such as going on holidays or maintaining daily affectionate rituals. Join us to learn strategies for creating a strong, collaborative partnership.

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About the Podcast

Love in the Real World
Unfiltered couple stories & how they healed.
Ever wished a world‑class therapist could whisper the exact line that turns a fight into a make‑out? Hit play. Led by Steven Dromgool & the Relate team—creators of Presence‑Oriented Relationship Therapy (PORT) and New Zealand’s go‑to marriage clinic—each weekly mini‑session lets you eavesdrop on live demos, role‑plays and myth‑busting chats that you can try before dinner. Unsugar‑coated stories: expats juggling time‑zones, parents finding desire between school runs, newlyweds learning to fight fair, and recovering from betrayal. Why trust us? PORT therapists train other therapists and have helped thousands across NZ, Australia & the U.S. upgrade connection—fast. Ready for evidence‑based empathy with a Kiwi accent? Follow now and turn your next coffee break into relationship upgrade time. Questions for Steven and Dan? Email admin@relate.online with a quick note and call‑back number. Or book an appointment at relate.online. One stronger connection at a time—starting today.

About your host

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Daniel Gummo

On Love in the Real World, relationship coach and Relate’s practice manager Daniel Gummo begins every episode by looking at problems experienced by real couples. By centering on the concerns of real couples, conversations stay practical and vibrant. Together, we dive into core relationship themes—communication breakdowns, trust struggles, intimacy gaps—using active listening and mindfulness to unpack how you really feel. Drawing on 15+ years in community mental health, family therapy and helping couples, I share tools to help you navigate conflict, set boundaries, and deepen connection. I believe every couple can reshape their story. With a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling and specialized training at the Existential Humanistic Institute, I’m here to help you build healthier, more authentic relationships—right here in the real world.